Spotting the Signs in Daily Life

Children often mirror the emotional states of their parents without ever saying so. If you notice sudden changes in their sleep, clinginess, irritability, or unexplained complaints like stomachaches, those could be signals of stress transferred from you. Young children especially don’t have the language to say “I’m worried because you’re worried.” Instead, they act it out. These behavioral changes aren’t always a direct copy of your own anxiety, but they are worth paying attention to. If your stress levels rise and you see them pulling inward or lashing out more than usual, that’s a strong cue that your state is bleeding into theirs.

How Kids Absorb Emotional Cues

Children are experts at reading emotional currents. Even if you think you’re hiding it, they can sense the way your shoulders tighten or the rhythm of your voice changes. Over time, they start internalizing those patterns. For instance, if you respond to pressure with avoidance or sharp bursts of frustration, they may learn that this is the “normal” way to handle uncomfortable feelings. This transmission isn’t intentional—it happens silently, moment by moment, until it builds into a framework for how they expect the world to feel. The good news is that modeling calm, reflective coping skills works the same way, and children can pick up healthier responses when they see you practicing them consistently.

When Protection Turns Into Restriction

Anxiety in parenting often shows up as overprotection. The instinct to shield your child from every possible hurt is natural, but taken too far it can stunt their growth. When kids are never allowed to take small risks, they miss opportunities to build resilience and confidence. Your fear becomes a cage, even if it’s lined with love. Paying attention to how often you step in unnecessarily—whether to fix a problem they could solve or to prevent a failure they could recover from—can be a powerful indicator of how your anxiety is shaping their independence.

Exploring Career Growth as Stress Relief

Sometimes the root of parental anxiety comes from a workplace that drains more than it gives back. Shifting careers or pursuing further education can lessen this burden, giving parents more stability and energy to share at home. For example, if you work in nursing and want better working conditions, shifts, and pay, master’s in nursing programs can position you for a more hands-on approach and see improved pay and hours. Even outside of healthcare, online degrees create flexibility that allows parents to keep earning while studying. Career progress is not just professional—it’s a pathway to a calmer home life.

The Lasting Impact Over Time

What begins as small changes in childhood can grow into significant challenges later in life. Children raised in environments where anxiety dominates may carry heightened stress responses into adulthood, struggling with self-esteem and decision-making. They may also become more prone to depression or anxiety disorders themselves. The weight of a parent’s unspoken tension doesn’t vanish with age; it often lingers as an echo in how kids see themselves and the world. Recognizing this trajectory is not meant to alarm but to emphasize that the way you handle your stress today shapes your child’s resilience tomorrow.

Why Age and Temperament Matter

Not all children respond to parental anxiety in the same way. Younger kids may become clingier, seeking reassurance in every interaction, while older children might withdraw, internalizing the sense that something is wrong but not knowing how to express it. Personality and temperament matter too—some children are naturally more sensitive, making them quicker to pick up on your emotional state. Gender can also play a role, with studies showing differences in how boys and girls display stress. The point isn’t to overanalyze but to notice: your child’s reaction is a mirror that can teach you a great deal about the emotional tone you’re setting at home.

Practical Steps for Parents

Acknowledging that your anxiety affects your child is the first step. The next is learning how to manage it in ways that don’t pass the burden along. That might mean therapy, journaling, mindfulness practices, or support groups—any outlet that allows you to process stress before it spills into your parenting. Sometimes, professional guidance is the best path forward, especially when anxiety feels unmanageable. Even small changes in how you handle your emotions can make a significant difference.

Anxiety doesn’t make you a bad parent. It makes you human. What matters is how you respond once you recognize the ways your stress may be shaping your child’s world. Children thrive on stability, reassurance, and love—but they also thrive when they see those values modeled in real time. By acknowledging your anxiety and taking steps to address it, you’re not just helping yourself, you’re giving your child the emotional foundation they need to face life with confidence. That ripple effect is profound, and it begins with you deciding to face your anxiety instead of letting it define the household atmosphere.

(This blog entry was contributed by Patrick Young, Founder of AbleUSA. Able USA offers informational resources to individuals with disabilities to improve their quality of life. Their educational blog can be found here).

Follow Their Lead with Curiosity

Before you build a curriculum or sign up for a program, start by listening. Curiosity isn’t one-size-fits-all. For one child, it’s insects. For another, it’s the patterns in the carpet. Instead of assuming what they should be interested in, pause and simply ask what captures their attention. That question does more than open a conversation. It tells your child that their interests are worthy of notice. This kind of validation isn’t just feel-good. It signals to their brain that learning isn’t a performance — it’s an invitation.

Make Creativity Accessible

Creativity often gets boxed up as a talent when it’s really a muscle. And today, that muscle has new tools. For children who are drawn to color, motion, and ideas — but feel limited by their drawing skills — introducing tools like digital art and AI painting can open up whole new forms of expression. These aren’t shortcuts. They’re springboards. They turn curiosity into confidence by showing that what matters isn’t the technique. It’s the vision, the voice, and the courage to try.

Let Play Do the Heavy Lifting

Too often, play is treated as the appetizer, when it’s really the main course. Kids don’t need lectures. They need environments that let them experiment, break, fix, and question. And they especially need time to do it without being rushed to produce something polished. That’s where guided play can support problem-solving in a way that scripted lessons never will. The best play doesn’t just entertain — it gives them room to discover how the world works, on their terms, in their tempo.

Use Books to Build Empathy

Reading together doesn’t just build literacy. It shapes how your child sees people, differences, and dignity. Stories that explore topics like autism, mental health, or social justice — written with children in mind — offer powerful windows into experiences beyond their own. That’s why resources like Books2Inspire matter. They make it easy to find age-appropriate books that foster compassion, understanding, and a more curious heart.

Let Them Teach You

Nothing strengthens a child’s love of learning more than the feeling of competence. And few things create that feeling faster than flipping the roles. When your child explains a game, a recipe, or a random fact about volcanoes, resist the urge to jump in. Ask them to keep going. Their confidence swells when they’re seen as someone with insight to share. This is how you support their self-driven exploration. It’s also how they learn to trust their own questions, not just the answers fed to them.

Ask Better Questions

Praise is nice. But presence is better. Instead of saying “Good job,” ask what surprised them. Instead of “That’s smart,” ask how they figured it out. These small shifts matter because they change the direction of attention. They say: I’m here for your process, not just your result. When you ask questions that stretch thinking, you show your child that learning is layered. It’s not about being right. It’s about being engaged, reflective, and a little bit bold.

Loving to learn isn’t a given. It’s a practice — layered into the rituals of home, the tone of your questions, and the way you respond when something doesn’t land the first time. But the reward? It lasts. Because the child who grows up knowing they’re allowed to explore, tinker, ask, and revise is the one who never stops becoming.

(This blog entry was contributed by Patrick Young, Founder of AbleUSA. Able USA offers informational resources to individuals with disabilities to improve their quality of life. Their educational blog can be found here.)

Getting Enough Sleep: The Non-Negotiable Foundation

You can’t function at your best if you’re running on fumes, yet sleep is often the first thing sacrificed. Maybe you push bedtime later to squeeze in another episode, another hour of scrolling, or another email answered. The problem? Sleep deprivation doesn’t just make you tired—it affects mood regulation, stress levels, and even your ability to handle everyday frustrations. Prioritizing sleep is a radical act of self-care, and it starts with setting boundaries: a consistent bedtime, a screen-free wind-down routine, and recognizing that rest isn’t a luxury—it’s essential.

The Lost Art of Doing Nothing

When was the last time you sat in silence with no agenda? No productivity hacks, no multitasking—just existing in the moment? We’ve been conditioned to believe that doing nothing is lazy, but the truth is, your brain needs a break. Taking time to relax resets your nervous system, helps you process emotions, and creates space for creativity. Try it. Step away from the constant buzz of busyness, sit by a window, watch the world move, and just be. You might be surprised at how much clarity comes from moments of stillness.

Reducing Stress in a World That Thrives on It

Modern life is a pressure cooker, and stress has become the default setting for too many people. The irony? Chronic stress wrecks your mental health, leaving you irritable, overwhelmed, and mentally drained. The antidote isn’t a complete lifestyle overhaul—it’s small, manageable shifts. Take deep breaths when tension rises. Move your body, even if it’s just a walk around the block. Set micro-goals instead of letting stress snowball. You can’t eliminate stress entirely, but you can take control of how it affects you.

Finding a Better Job

If your job is draining you mentally and physically, it might be time to move on. A toxic work environment, constant stress, or lack of fulfillment can take a serious toll on your well-being, but with proper guidance, you can navigate the job search with confidence. Writing a strong cover letter is one of the best ways to increase your chances of landing an interview—research the company, mention any referrals or connections, and keep your language clear and to the point. Prioritizing your mental health sometimes means walking away, and the right opportunity is out there if you prepare strategically.

The Power of Saying No

Saying yes to everything might make you feel helpful, but it’s also a fast track to burnout. If your schedule is packed with obligations that drain you, it’s time to reclaim your time. Setting boundaries isn’t selfish—it’s an act of self-respect. Saying no doesn’t mean you’re rude or unkind; it means you recognize your limits. Start small. Decline a request that doesn’t align with your priorities. Leave a social event early if you’re exhausted. The more you practice, the more you’ll realize that protecting your energy is one of the most important things you can do for your mental health.

Nature’s Medicine: The Overlooked Power of Natural Remedies

Sometimes, the simplest solutions are the most effective. Natural remedies—whether it’s herbal teas, essential oils, or time spent outdoors—have a profound impact on mental well-being. Chamomile tea can help with anxiety, lavender oil can calm a racing mind, and a daily dose of fresh air can shift your entire mood. The beauty of these remedies is that they remind you to slow down, tune into your body, and embrace a gentler way of healing. They won’t replace therapy or medication, but they can be powerful tools in your self-care arsenal.

Self-care isn’t indulgent, and it’s not something you earn only after you’ve worked yourself to the brink of exhaustion. It’s necessary. Your mental health depends on it. The world will keep spinning, emails will keep coming, and responsibilities won’t vanish—but if you don’t take care of yourself, none of it will matter. So, start small. Prioritize rest, breathe deeper, say no when you need to, and find joy where you can. Your mind—and your future self—will thank you.

Discover the power of storytelling with Books2Inspire – where children’s books become a therapeutic tool for mental wellness and aspiring authors find the coaching they need to succeed.

(This blog entry was contributed by Patrick Young, Founder of AbleUSA. Able USA offers informational resources to individuals with disabilities to improve their quality of life. Their educational blog can be found here.)

Fostering Creativity Through Art

Encouraging your child to explore art is a wonderful way to boost their creativity and confidence. Provide them with various artistic mediums to express themselves uniquely. As they create, consider scanning their artwork and saving it digitally to preserve these precious memories. An option to consider is using a PDF maker, which allows you to create or convert any document into a PDF, ensuring their creative milestones are cherished for years to come.

Teaching Mindful Listening

Mindful listening is a powerful tool, fostering empathy and enhancing communication skills. By engaging in activities that require focused attention, children learn to appreciate diverse perspectives, which improves their communication and deepens their empathy. This practice helps them connect with others on a meaningful level, essential for resolving conflicts and building strong relationships. Incorporating mindful listening into daily routines can significantly impact a child’s social and emotional growth, leading to improved self-awareness and emotional regulation. These strategies create a supportive environment that values respect and empathy, promoting a sense of connection and belonging.

Boosting Focus and Curiosity with Bird-Watching

Introducing your children to bird-watching is a wonderful way to nurture their focus and curiosity while connecting them with nature. By observing birds in their natural habitats, whether from your backyard or a local park, kids can learn about various species and their behaviors, enhancing their understanding of the environment. This activity promotes outdoor exploration and encourages scientific inquiry as children start asking questions about the birds they encounter. Equip them with binoculars and a bird field guide to enrich their experience, making it both educational and enjoyable. As they document their observations, children develop a deeper appreciation for the environment and improve their attention span, making bird-watching a valuable activity.

Creating a Relaxing Reading Routine

Establishing a reading routine that your kids will love involves a few thoughtful steps that can turn reading into a delightful family activity. Start by choosing a time that naturally fits into your daily schedule, like bedtime, which is often recommended for its calming effect and bonding potential. This can be a great way to ensure time together during busy parts of the year. Encourage regular visits to the library and let your child pick their own books, fostering a sense of autonomy and excitement about reading. Consistency is key, so aim for daily reading sessions, but stay flexible to keep the experience enjoyable and stress-free for everyone involved.

Enhancing Transitions with Music and Dance

Incorporating music and dance into your child’s daily routine can transform transitions between activities, making them smoother and more enjoyable. By using familiar tunes or creating a unique soundtrack for different parts of the day, you provide a comforting and predictable structure that helps children, especially those with ADHD or sensory processing issues, feel more secure. For instance, a playful song can signal the end of playtime and the start of homework, easing the shift. This approach engages children emotionally and physically, as dancing to the music can release endorphins, enhancing mood and focus.

Enhancing Creativity and Critical Thinking with Brain Games

Engaging your child in brain games is a powerful way to boost their creativity and critical thinking skills. Activities like jigsaw puzzles and Tangrams encourage children to explore unconventional solutions by forming shapes and patterns, which fosters innovative thinking. These games stimulate the brain to create new neural pathways, enhancing cognitive development and empowering children to question assumptions and make informed decisions. Moreover, the skills gained from these games often translate into improved academic performance, as they involve problem-solving and critical analysis directly applicable to school subjects. Incorporating brain games into your child’s routine can be a valuable tool in nurturing a well-rounded and imaginative thinker.

By weaving these activities into your child’s routine, you create a nurturing environment that supports their growth and well-being. These practices help them reset and refresh and equip them with essential life skills, fostering a balanced and joyful childhood.

(This blog entry was contributed by Patrick Young, Founder of AbleUSA. Able USA offers informational resources to individuals with disabilities to improve their quality of life. Their educational blog can be found here.)

In the many discussions on the topic of claim denials on social media, nothing was ever mentioned about mental healthcare and what happens in that aspect. Medical care has always taken on the primary focus of the healthcare industry, with the plight of mental healthcare being a nonexistent conversation. As a therapist who has worked in the healthcare industry for 22 years, I think people fail to realize that mental healthcare is equally as important as medical care and that just as much attention should be focused on getting people’s mental health needs addressed. Access to this care can be lacking as well, especially in lower income areas, causing people to suffer unjustifiably. Services like outpatient therapy, psychiatric care, etc. can be hard to come by based on demand and areas that people live in. For example, in the more rural areas, it is hard to find a therapist and one that you can be seen face to face dependent on how many therapists serve that area. In my current role as someone who helps employees navigate the mental healthcare system, I have come across many frustrated and disgruntled employees unable to find a therapist that is available and offers face to face services since the pandemic. Most therapists have gone virtual and not everyone likes virtual counseling. Some patients long for the ability to see someone in their office because it feels more intimate and comfortable for them. Although therapists making the shift to virtual sessions has allowed them to serve more patients, it has also left those with a preference for in-person counseling feeling like they are getting the shaft and that their preferences are not being addressed.

The other thing that is troubling in mental healthcare is the fact that getting higher level services such as residential care is not available to working middle-class folks. It is often only covered through Medicaid, which most middle-class people don’t qualify for because of their income. Your salary has to be pretty much below the poverty level or you have to be unemployed or disabled in order for you to receive this type of healthcare. Medicaid will pay for residential care options such as substance abuse residential treatment, group homes for teens or adults, etc. Without it, you can only receive outpatient services, which may not be the appropriate level of care for your particular issue. Then your medical insurance won’t cover outpatient, if your healthcare professional is recommending a higher level of care that you can’t afford to pay for privately. So as the story goes for medical care, many have their mental health needs go unmet, which can cause crises such as hospitalizations that increase the costs of healthcare overall.

It appears that the healthcare system is not really set up to assist the working, middle class. Before your appointment, you pay your insurance premium upfront through your paycheck, then a co-pay at your appointment and then get hit with a bill afterwards. This is not even considering what your employer pays towards your healthcare every month. If you have a medical emergency, medical debt can set you up for a financial crisis, which can further exacerbate your medical or mental health issues due to the stress involved. This is why healthcare reform is really needed, especially in America. We need healthcare costs that are more affordable so we don’t have to work while sick just to pay our medical bills off.

I can’t pretend to offer a solution on what to do about the dysfunction of the healthcare system but I can say that something needs to be done. We can’t continue the way we have, doing what we do expecting people to get better. People going for long periods with unmet medical needs will eventually encounter more costly services due to not getting their health addressed early on. This can significantly decrease the wealth of not just the individual but the entire family creating a brutal impact that lasts for generations to come.  We can only counteract this by revamping the healthcare system because it really does not serve us in the manner in which it was intended, causing undue suffering to the patient and their family system.

What are your thoughts on the state of the healthcare system in America? Do you have a solution on how folks can receive more appropriate healthcare without going into financial debt? How can we tackle the lack of resources for healthcare in certain communities? These may seem like questions without viable solutions but perhaps what happened with the UHC CEO will open the door to more of these types of discussions rather than the bashing and heckling of a dead man. Otherwise, it will be back to business as usual once the dust settles and insurance companies will continue their pattern of denials with the goal of saving on healthcare costs at another’s expense.

I implore each and every one of you who read this to continue to advocate for yourself and your loved ones’ fair treatment and access to healthcare. Without your advocacy, you will not see results or change within the healthcare system. Your advocacy for what you or your loved ones need can change the trajectory of your and their future. Your lives matter!

Take good care,

Kira

What are anchors?

Personal anchors can be anything that keeps you grounded and centered while navigating the treacherous and unpredictable waters of life. It can be someone from your community, it can be a passion project, it can be a spiritual faith. It can even be a pet. It is ideal for someone to have as many anchors as possible and not just rely on one. Think of when you put a tent down during a windy day. If you don’t use tent weights, it will fly up at the first strong wind that comes by. If you only use a few but not enough, the tent will remain stable for a little while but if it becomes very windy, it will still fly up. The more tent weights you use, the sturdier your tent will be. And that’s why it is important to have as many anchors in your life as possible so that you can weather any storm that comes in your life and maintain your peace of mind.

When to seek professional help

I have many anchors but the ones I rely on the most are my spiritual faith, family, and a few close friends. My community is not big, but it is mighty. These are the things I go to when I feel lost or overwhelmed. Some people in the therapy community call it “coping skills” while others call it your “toolbox” but to me calling it an “anchor” feels more at home. I feel like it speaks to what that particular thing or person does for you. Does that thing or person keep you from getting completely undone? Then calling it an anchor might make the most sense.

Now, if you don’t have any anchors in your life, then perhaps you should consider getting with a therapist to help you identify your anchors. Therapists are powerful vehicles to help you identify natural supports that you already have. If you don’t already have a therapist, there are many channels to find a therapist such as through an insurance provider, employee assistance program, Psychology Today,  Better Help, Talkspace, etc. Everyone needs a tune-up every now and again when it comes to their mental well-being. I implore you to consider therapy if you have not done so already.

By seeking professional help, you model to others in your circle the importance and value of working on your emotional well-being. We should look at instilling in others, especially in our children, the value in  identifying what their resources are and encouraging them to use them when they are struggling. As a licensed marriage and family therapist, I am always thinking of an individual as part of an ecosystem and never an island onto themselves. So, it is important as parents or caregivers that you encourage your children to have the confidence to find their own footing in life and to be open to seeking help without feeling any shame for it.

How we can help

We have plenty of tools on our website that can help you or your children find your anchors. This blog has great articles on this but we also have an online shop for your children that can help them identify their anchors through books as resources. Feel free to browse our shop with your littles and help them pick out the book(s) that speak to them.

See you soon,

Kira

What to consider with social audio

Fast forward to 2024, I was hearing a lot about a tech founder called Isaac Hayes III and how he had built a competitive product to ClubHouse called Fanbase. I was moved by what the founder said about what this app could do for Black creators. Now, I don’t consider myself a creator but I do have a business and every little bit of exposure helps. I decided that since the app was new, maybe this would be a great opportunity to try social audio spaces again. I had dabbled with X (formerly known as Twitter) and felt it was time to level up. However, I still had some trepidation about audio spaces given concerns about what I might be opening myself up to.

Audio spaces are a great way to connect with others especially if in person interactions are not possible due to location, accessibility, or time constraints. However, what I have learned is that there is a dark side to audio spaces. You are dealing with complete strangers; people who you have no clue about the status of mental health. They may be in a bad way and come into social audio spaces bringing that energy into the room. This may trigger you to respond in a certain way and then the situation gets out of hand between the two of you. Then you have a room full of people witnessing this argument, adding fuel to the fire, or recording it. I have even heard of situations where people have given out their addresses in social audio space, so that the person can ‘pull up’ and in one incident, it resulted in a fatality. You have to be careful about where you expend your energy because what you receive, you may not like.

The rules of engagement with social audio

Despite the dark side of social audio, I frequent different social audio spaces but in a cautionary way. I speak with intention and correction, if needed, to avoid offending or stirring up unnecessary arguments. I do a lot of observations of rooms to “read the energy” before injecting my input. I do not stay in spaces where folks are cursing, arguing, or talking about controversial topics that I feel are distasteful. I only consume what I seek to learn or discuss more to gain other’s perspectives. This is how I move in the social audio space world and with the exception of some isolated incidences, I have not had trouble with anyone. Conflict does not follow me…

Overall, I think social audio spaces are a great way to connect and expand your circle. If you are feeling isolated for whatever reason, you can make some great online friends in some of these spaces. I see social audio as being like a neighborhood that you frequent and just like you have some good neighbors, you will also have some bad ones. Some that are loud, rude, and disruptive and you have to learn to live with them as well. But the more you frequent the neighborhood, the sooner these folks will show themselves and you can always avoid the spaces they are in. That’s the key to attending these audio spaces; knowing who to commune with and who to stay away from. What’s also key is modeling the behavior that you want to receive. That will set the precedent for how others will treat you. And this does not just apply to social audio spaces but every space you are in.

Regardless of the dangers of social audio, I believe that socialization in any respect is needed for mental wellness. Humans are social creatures and having more avenues to talk and network is good. There is a loneliness epidemic going on right now and social audio can fill that gap for you if you are experiencing depression because of feeling isolated. However, tread lightly. Still be sure to tap into your natural supports like friends, family, church, etc. before putting all your energy into audio spaces. There is a lot to gain from participating in those spaces, but there is also a lot to lose…

Take good care of yourselves…

Kira

Let’s Check In with One Another.

First of all, I wanted to do a check-in. How are you doing? Are you checking in with yourself every day to check your emotional temperature? I check in with myself on a regular. Like every hour or sometimes minute by minute. Maybe it’s because I’m a therapist, but it’s important to me to ensure that my emotional and mental well-being is in tip top shape. And so should you…

Things You Can Do to Address Your Mental Health.

Metacognition is when you are thinking about your thinking. I engage in this a lot. I’m always analyzing my thinking, which some may say is ‘over thinking’ however I believe in tapping into how our thinking affects our emotions and then our behavior. That’s the principle of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which is an evidenced-based therapy, widely used with people in therapy. The reason for the effectiveness of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is that it addresses and challenges distorted belief patterns that are negatively impacting your social and occupational functioning. If you are dealing with this challenge, I recommend that you consider connecting with a therapist to help you break this cycle and have a more fulfilling life.

But awareness is key. You have to be aware of how you think and why you think the way you do. Sometimes, it requires you sitting down with a therapist to unpack your past. Maybe there are some things that are traumatic that happened to you that you don’t even realize were traumatic or that those events still have an impact on you and your relationships. It’s important to flush this out with a professional who can help you do this while mitigating the harm that may happen with uncovered trauma.

Trauma informed care is an evidenced based approach that specifically addresses trauma-informed stress and related issues. If you have experienced any sexual, physical, emotional, racial or complex trauma, it’s important to get this addressed in therapy that caters to trauma. I have seen in my experience some folks get therapy for trauma that is not trauma informed care and report that it was not successful and then generalize that therapy is not helpful. It is important to research what therapy models are best for you given the issues that you are experiencing.

Early intervention is also key. Don’t wait until things get so bad that you are almost on the verge of an emotional crisis before getting therapy. This can make therapy less effective and much harder for you to return to your baseline. It’s important that you get whatever individual, relationship, or family issues addressed right away rather than when they are already beyond repair. Therapy can help you review the way you think and address it, so you can disrupt the cycle of behavioral patterns that no longer serve you.

I can’t stress enough the importance of reaching out for professional support. Professional support is important, but it is also just as important to have emotional support through your tribe of friends and family. Don’t expect your friends and family to fix your problems though; this is best left in the hands of a professional counselor. But they can definitely be a listening ear and offer you support by giving you a space to feel heard and understood. Most therapy is offered once a week so having a network of support you can go to the other 6 days is vital to your emotional stability.

Mental Health Should Be Addressed All Year Long.

Mental health is something to be highlighted not just in May, but all year long. We should not abandon the importance of tapping into and building our mental wellness every day so that we can strengthen our emotional resilience for when we experience negative events in our lives. In fact, we should be diligent about creating a buffer for events such as these by actively working on building our mental health through wellness activities, touching base with our support network, and professional counseling. It is when we drop off from doing these things that adverse events can disproportionately affect us and our emotional well-being.

I hope that you find this post to be enlightening and that it plants the seeds for further change. Please also feel free to visit our online shop to instill these same values in your children by teaching them about emotional health and the importance of continuously working on it.

Take good care,

Kira

The short answer is no.

Let’s be real. Counseling can be out of most people’s price range. Even with insurance. Those co-pays add up and when you compare it to the other expenses that are unavoidable (food, gas, rent/mortgage, bills…), it becomes a lower priority. This is why so many folks quit therapy before they have really even gotten started due to financial constraints.

But where there is a will, there is a way…

There are opportunities out there to get FREE therapy. Most people do not consider the options that I am going to point out to you but because I love you (even though I don’t know you), I’m going to let you in on some dirty little secrets…

Did you know that your employers pre-pay for therapy for you? Yes, it is called an Employee Assistance Program otherwise known as (EAP) and your company pays for a certain amount of sessions for you that are free of cost. None of it goes through your insurance so you have that extra layer of confidentiality. It’s an awesome way to get therapy and save money. And some employers cover counseling for multiple issues that allow for you to request additional sessions. You can receive counseling in person or virtually, so I highly recommend you take advantage of this offer.

Another thing to consider is pastoral counseling. If you are part of a church community, you may be able to get counseling through your pastor regarding whatever personal issues you are having. I recommend this for someone with mild to moderate issues and not someone who has a clinical diagnosis of any kind (i.e. Major Depression, Schizophrenia, etc.). If you have anything that warrants therapeutic treatment, you must see a therapist. If you are dealing with issues such as trouble in your marriage or at work, then seeing a Pastoral counselor may make perfect sense. Pastoral counseling is usually free of cost but always verify this with your church first.

There are also tons of crisis hotlines out there where you can get one-off counseling. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 988 or text HOME to 741741. There are also tons of other hotlines here based on whatever issues you are having. There is nothing wrong with reaching out for help. I’d rather you do that, than do something you will regret.

Last but not least, consider literature as a means of support. They are great self-help books on a variety of issues that can offer you some temporary relief. If you need recommendations, I am going to be honest with you, I don’t have any. I’m more of a fiction kinda girl but what I would recommend is that you use Amazon as a resource to search for a book on a particular topic or get a recommendation from a family member or friend who is an avid reader. On this website, we have children’s literature geared towards building emotional intelligence and mental wellness, if you have some little ones who need that kind of support as well.

I hope that this was helpful. Sometimes you have to be creative with the resources you have available to you already. Not everyone can afford to seek out therapy through insurance or pay privately. Those are luxuries most of us don’t have. So rather than struggle financially while getting therapy which can add to your stress, try the free resources I’ve given you.

Please also feel free to check out our other blog articles and our online shop for children’s books. We also offer coaching for self-publishing and will suspend all services this August for the remainder of the year so we advise you get started with us soon, especially if you want to pay for one of our more comprehensive packages.

See you soon,

Kira

Now social distancing has been used to refer to how you conduct relationships with those who you feel may be toxic individuals to avoid future emotional injury. Social distancing differs from emotional cut-offs, which brings a finality to the relationship and does not allow for any exchange whatsoever. Social distancing is however different. Social distancing involves a partial emotional withdrawal of your presence in that person’s life with interaction but from a safe emotional distance. This means that if you see the person around, you exchange pleasantries, but you don’t initiate any calls or texts. Or maybe you allow for text conversations, but you don’t make plans to see them in person or spend quality time with them. You keep your distance because there are red flags there that you simply can’t ignore and hurts that you can’t continue to subject yourself to. However, this person or people may be part of your inner circle of friends or family and you can’t just simply cut them off because it would be too disruptive to your world. So, you maintain contact but from a distance where you feel a sense of safety and security.  

I was scrolling through social media and saw that someone said in a video that if you cut someone off, that says more about you than them as if this reflects a level of emotional immaturity. The person also said that this is because you should be able to communicate how that person violated your boundaries. To an extent, I agree. For this to occur the person must be: 1) Receptive to hearing what you have to say given past conflicts 2) Accountable for what they may have done wrong. Both requires a keen sense of awareness and emotional intelligence for the interaction to go well. However, if you suspect the person has narcissism or at least narcissistic tendencies, DO NOT attempt to try to have a conversation with them about your feelings. They will gaslight you and make you feel worse after you attempt to confront them about what they did to you. Those with narcissism have the inability to see what they did wrong and take accountability for their actions. Instead, they will blame you for feeling the way you do and turn the situation around on you. It is best to use social distancing with them if they are in your close social circle but if this is too painful, emotional cutoffs are necessary. Narcissists are best to avoid contact with at all costs unless they are getting counseling for their narcissism. While in treatment, the person with narcissism would have the ability to gain awareness about their actions and would therefore be more open to constructive feedback about how their actions affect others. Outside of counseling, this is not possible for someone with this personality disorder.

Social distancing to me is a nice intermediate step of being physically available but emotionally distant. It shows that you value the person but are setting clear boundaries so the person can no longer hurt you. With the holidays coming up, it may become impossible to avoid the toxic people in your life but maybe by limiting your interactions with them, you can find some relief. It is imperative that I say that is ok to let that person back into your life if they apologize for what they have done once they recognize that you have socially distanced yourself from them. However, with accountability comes change. If they are not changing, their apologies mean nothing. It’s like putting your hand on a hot stove and getting burned each time and continuing to do so anyway. The best way not to get burned is for you not to let your hand get too close to the stove. You don’t have to remove the stove from your house or stop cooking on it altogether, you just have to be more careful when you interact with it. And that’s how you treat those toxic folks in your life, be more careful and limit what you do with them. Social distancing can keep the status quo without causing a huge disruption as removing them from your life would.

I hope this was helpful and if you need more information on social distancing and what that means, feel free to leave a comment or reach out by filling out one of our information forms.

Take care and Happy Holidays to you,

Kira