Our capitalistic society discourages against self-care.

Sometimes we get so busy and we think it’s ‘normal’ to not have time for ourselves. In our society, it is applauded that you are busy whether it is your busy with a career, being a parent, or have an active social life. However, it is not “cute” to be over-extended because of what happens when you are. You become depressed, anxious, and overwhelmed. I get it, it’s hard not to be productive when there is so much to do! But it will get done and even if all does not get done, it’s ok too…You won’t die. You will figure it out. Having faith in yourself will allow you to achieve your goals even if it’s not exactly on the short timeframe you have given yourself. But you can’t enjoy your success if you are too burned out to relish in it. You can’t enjoy your success if your physical health is failing because you are overextended. So, pace yourself and you will get there AND you will be able to enjoy every bit of it!

Self-care is one of the hallmarks of personal development.

Self-care is being talked about more and more in everyday life. I have seen a lot of discussion about it in social media which I am so happy to see. Self-care can be anything such as taking a warm bath at night, drinking a cup of hot tea or milk before bed, meditation, walks etc…etc. There are even new ways for self-care such as nature bathing and sound bathing. I think all of it is great no matter what it is because the essence of it is spending time with yourself. This can be a scary concept for some. The pandemic gave us no choice but to face ourselves because we didn’t have the distractions of being around others. We were confronted with the ugly side of ourselves that we had been hiding from for years. So now we have to work all this shit out that we buried and it’s scary and uncomfortable and so self-care is essential for us to allow ourselves some grace while we work on ourselves. I talk to my clients in counseling about the importance of self-care ALL THE TIME, but it is also important that I model this for them and practice what I preach! I can’t be a hypocrite about something that is so crucial and important for us to be able to become our best selves.

How are you practicing self-care?

How are you showing up for yourself every day? Yes, I’m talking to YOU. Self-care doesn’t have to be long. It can be a few minutes a day where you just dedicate some time to yourselves. I have even heard parents say that before they walk in the house, they sit in the car for a few minutes and have alone time that way. It doesn’t have to be a big display for it to be self-care. It can be something as simple as that. I always feel great after practicing self-care even if initially it’s something I have to fight with myself to do. Do I not have a lot of things I could be doing while practicing self-care…Yes, of course! But did my mind and body thank me after I practiced self- care? YES, One thousand percent! I have no regrets, not one. I encourage you to take some time for yourself every day, think small, and be consistent about it. You will thank yourself too in the end!

By the way, Happy Women’s History Month to all you bomb ass women out there doing your thing! I see you.

Kira

Consume content that makes you feel good and aligns with your values.

I saw this in a Colors of Yoga newsletter, where they talked about self-love. I felt that this spoke to my entire being. I do believe God speaks to me through people, situations, and the written word and seeing this gave me the strength to continue moving forward with eliminating toxic things (or people) from my life. I am now back to reading, my first love. I am reading some great books. I just finished up the audio book, It’s Not All Downhill from Here by Terry McMillan and now reading a book by one of my favorite authors, Bernice McFadden and it’s called Sugar. I am drinking chamomile tea every night to quiet my mind and relax my body. I am exercising more and eating healthier. I am taking more baths every week. I am reaching out to friends more and taking a step back from posting on social media. I am looking to align myself with like-minded people who lift me up and not tear me down or dismiss me. I am searching for not just a genuine connection with others but with myself. Your relationship with your self is most important. If you can’t be good to yourself, how do you expect others to do the same?

What are you consuming mentally and is it benefiting you? Or is it crushing your spirit and telling you bad things you don’t want to hear? If your “devil” is social media, perhaps you need to limit your social media intake. If your “devil” is certain people in your life that are toxic, maybe you need to create some emotional distance between you and them for the time being until the nature of the relationship changes. The things your mind consumes should make you happy or bring you peace. If it doesn’t fit that criteria, eliminate it quickly! Don’t let it seep into your spirit and have you doubting yourself and your worth.

I recently spoke with a client at my job who disclosed to me that she was feeling depressed because she was watching too much news. She is a black woman and the media coverage of the way black people were being treated had started to make her hate white people. Not just a general way but in a scary way that made her seek help. Her hate for white people began to consume her. I told her that maybe she needed to limit her consumption of the news because it was starting to affect her mind in a negative way. I explained to her that sometimes we consume things because we crave knowledge and not being left out the fold but sometimes it’s good not to know everything. She agreed that she needed to limit her intake so she could get back to being mentally healthy and pour her energy into things she loved. She talked to me about a Sister Circle she started at church and we discussed other ways she can give back to her community. By the end of the call, she was sounding and acting differently.

We are what we consume.

I challenge everyone to take a tally of the things in their lives that affect their mind. What type of person are you becoming as a result of what you are consuming? Do you even recognize yourself? Just remember, guard your mind at all costs. Make sure you are not just inhabiting the things of the world, but you are protecting your spirit. Be on the lookout for anything that you think may trigger you or take you to a negative space. We have enough to deal with in 2021, we don’t need to bring any negativity unnecessarily onto ourselves. Here’s to doing more things that make us happy!

Take care,

Kira