I admit I am struggling with this. Radical acceptance is at best, radical. To just accept bad things as they come and resist the urge to fix it is hard. I may seem calm on the outside, but my dream life has been turbulent letting me know my subconscious is manifesting my fears for me. However, I am trying to push through despite feeling that I got to do something. I recognize that’s my anxiety talking and that what I need to do more than ever right now is practice faith and recognize that whatever happens is what was always meant to happen.
I envy folks that have the level of confidence to be lone wolves. Being alone but never lonely comes with a sense of confidence that you can be in any situation and thrive. A feeling of pure uninhibition and ruthless optimism. Not caring what others think or feeling shame about being out alone but a sense of certainty that you will master a new situation.
I recently received EMDR for a traumatic childhood experience. I wanted something that was evidence-based that didn’t require me to talk through the gruesome details of the trauma (although I did anyway). The therapist was a good fit (much younger than I) but a great sounding board for me since we also ended up having discussion on my current life issues. I felt safe with her and comfortable sharing very intimate personal struggles and it was nice to have someone listen to me for a change.
I want to have a conversation. Not just talking about self-care because been there, done that. What I wanted to discuss was that moms with special needs kids ensure that they pay special attention to their mental health so that they are pouring into themselves as much as they are pouring into their kids. However,
You also must be an advocate for your child/children with autism. NO ONE can do it like you can. From my experience, the school system will only do as little as you allow them to. Meaning that if you want them to do more, you have to be in constant communication with them.
I’m not a young mom and neither is my husband. There will come a time when we are unable to care for Trey because of our old age and deteriorating health. Unless you come from a big and supportive family that can step in when you can’t, you have to give your autistic child a chance and opportunity to become the person they are meant to be, which may not be what you had imagined.
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