I had an epiphany at church the other day. I was thinking about how great God was and how reading the bible has kept me grounded and on the path to righteousness despite my worst of intentions. As I thought about this, I realized that my faith was my anchor. It kept me from making poor choices that can throw me out of whack. We can all be impulsive at times, but if we have our ‘anchors’ it can help us from making decisions we will later regret.
What are anchors?
Personal anchors can be anything that keeps you grounded and centered while navigating the treacherous and unpredictable waters of life. It can be someone from your community, it can be a passion project, it can be a spiritual faith. It can even be a pet. It is ideal for someone to have as many anchors as possible and not just rely on one. Think of when you put a tent down during a windy day. If you don’t use tent weights, it will fly up at the first strong wind that comes by. If you only use a few but not enough, the tent will remain stable for a little while but if it becomes very windy, it will still fly up. The more tent weights you use, the sturdier your tent will be. And that’s why it is important to have as many anchors in your life as possible so that you can weather any storm that comes in your life and maintain your peace of mind.
When to seek professional help
I have many anchors but the ones I rely on the most are my spiritual faith, family, and a few close friends. My community is not big, but it is mighty. These are the things I go to when I feel lost or overwhelmed. Some people in the therapy community call it “coping skills” while others call it your “toolbox” but to me calling it an “anchor” feels more at home. I feel like it speaks to what that particular thing or person does for you. Does that thing or person keep you from getting completely undone? Then calling it an anchor might make the most sense.
Now, if you don’t have any anchors in your life, then perhaps you should consider getting with a therapist to help you identify your anchors. Therapists are powerful vehicles to help you identify natural supports that you already have. If you don’t already have a therapist, there are many channels to find a therapist such as through an insurance provider, employee assistance program, Psychology Today, Better Help, Talkspace, etc. Everyone needs a tune-up every now and again when it comes to their mental well-being. I implore you to consider therapy if you have not done so already.
By seeking professional help, you model to others in your circle the importance and value of working on your emotional well-being. We should look at instilling in others, especially in our children, the value in identifying what their resources are and encouraging them to use them when they are struggling. As a licensed marriage and family therapist, I am always thinking of an individual as part of an ecosystem and never an island onto themselves. So, it is important as parents or caregivers that you encourage your children to have the confidence to find their own footing in life and to be open to seeking help without feeling any shame for it.
How we can help
We have plenty of tools on our website that can help you or your children find your anchors. This blog has great articles on this but we also have an online shop for your children that can help them identify their anchors through books as resources. Feel free to browse our shop with your littles and help them pick out the book(s) that speak to them.
See you soon,
Kira
